Worth
by MaddieIsWhatIAm
Summary: After all, how much is a life really worth?
1. Prolouge

**A/N: Hi there guys. So, I don't know how long it's been since I've updated ANYTHING, but I will trytrytry to keep up with everything. I'd like to start this off by saying that this will be a multi-chap (this one I fully plan on continuing.) Thank you to all my follower friends. I love you all and I hope you stick this out with me! Read on.**

"You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?' - George Bernard Shaw

There's only one place she can see him. One place where he's real. It's not through some treatment. It's not through some drug-induced coma. It's through something different, something you can't just see or understand. And that's how they like it. He likes it because she visits him every day. She likes it because there's someone there for her, no matter what. And confidence like that is irreplaceable. There's no real knowledge or understanding, and there's no real purpose, but it happens just the same. And they are greatful for eachother. So greatful. Greatful enough to sacrifice something so precious- a human life. Because that's exactly what they're doing. They're giving up one life in exchange for another. Sounds fair, doesn't it? A life for a life? After all, how much is a life really worth?

**A/N: I know this isn't much now, but this will evolve! Erm, not much else I can say except: Please read, review, and stick this out with me! And pictures of a seven year old Gabe dressed as ballerina in a pink tutu for Halloween for all the reviewers! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 1

"Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?" - RENT

74 years. The average life span for a woman is 74 years. 74 years filled with fun and adventure. Of love, hate, happiness, and sorrow. Of proms and graduations, of dates and children, of books and television. 74 years of knowledge available to us. 74 years that every woman has to enjoy her life. But maybe 74 is just too much to ask for.  
Natalie was born, the happiest child anyone had ever seen. She was perfectly healthy, full of a bubbling, contagious laughter and the brightest smile you ever saw on a child. She'll be a smart one, the nurses advised. Wise, full to the brim with all the knowledge you could bestow upon a soul. Not one single problem with your child, miss, the nurse said, She'll be the healthiest child ever. That girl will last her 74 years, she will. 74 years. But not one of the nurses ever came close to correct. None could guess what went on inside that bright little mind. Never could and never would. It was too unreachable.  
5 years old. Smiling bright, not a care in the world. Just a girl with her new Barbie vanity, combing her hair with the plastic brush, sitting on the seat with beautiful material. Fit for a princess! the girl with the missing tooth grin and Elmo footie pajamas would tell you. Absolutely no cares in the world. But then again, the problems never started then. They, too, were unreachable. Wouldn't you rather problems stay that way?  
9 years old. Smiling dimly in her new Christmas dress, she twirled around, the hem of her red dress poofing out. And, though she spun around lightly, her mind was being weighed down. Her thoughts drifted, never settling, never for now, the girl was fine. Few worries or cares, few moments of dimly lit clarity.  
13 years old. The corners or her mouth twitching up into a rare grin, the pre-teen smeared on a thin layer of lip gloss. She spun around, and dashed down the stairs. Her first date was waiting just beyond those doors, and she couldn't wait to escape. She thought she wanted- thought she needed- escape from her house. She didn't know what she needed the real escape from was herself.  
15 years old. Natalie, staring at a mirror, head leaned against pillows at an awkward angle, wasn't even seeing herself. Her true self was in her mind, sitting by a river with a boy. They sat, smiling at each other, chatting idly, stopping every so often to gaze at the scenery. The boy was handsome, with dirty blonde, slightly spiky hair, pink lips, and beautiful blue green eyes. When he smiled, the girl smiled back. You couldn't help but smile at his smile so beautiful and his laugh so contagious. Nothing mattered to the girl, nothing more than being with this boy. He was the world to her.  
16 years old. In a hospital, hooked up to multiple machines, unconcious. It didn't matter. She couldn't move anyway. Being paralyzed from the waist down wasn't all bad. For one thing, it was nice not having to do everything by yourself. And for another, it allowed her more time to escape into her own personal utopia. Every time she was able, she escaped into that utopia, with the beautiful view and the handsome boy. That boy was the epitome of everything her life was- beautiful and perfect and full of fun. On the inside. The outside was trivial, it didn't matter as much as what your own mind could hold. At least that's what the boy told her. And he was always right. He suggested to her, Why don't we switch? I'll be the outside person and you can be the inside person. After all, how much is a life really worth?  
After all, how much is a life really worth? 


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Well this took longer than I thought it would, but hey! at least it's getting done. This little chapter blurb popped into my mind while listening to The Music of the Night from Phantom. I hate to do this right as this is getting moving, but as it is NaNoWriMo, I probably won't update this too much. Sorry, but my novel comes first.  
Disclaimer: Me no own. consider yourself disclaimed.

My utopia has two citizens-me and that blond boy. He refuses to tell me his name, insisting that I will figure it out on my own. I just know that I know him, but I don't know how. He's always there with me, smiling, laughing. My utopia. Has a nice ring to it, no? All mine.  
Not my mom's, not my dad's, not even the golden haired boy's. Or is it his? I wouldn't mind letting him take control of my utopia. But, I just don't know. Part of me wants to give him everything, just say, "Screw it, you can take control of everything!" but the other part wants me to hold onto what I can and be selfish. I'm not sure which part of me will win out, but I know I will fight myself as long as I can.  
I'm not even sure what's happening outside this dreamland, but I couldn't care less. All I can concentrate on is that nameless blond boy. He occupies my time, my every thought, my every dream inside this dream. Why don't I know his name? Why can I trust him without never actually meeting him? Why is he all I can think about? My mind was reeling with these types of unanswerable questions. But I can actually answer them this time. I don't know his name because I need to figure it out myself. I can trust him because I'm comfortable with him. He's all I can think about because he's all that's here with me, all that really matters.  
Yes, all that matters is that mysterious boy-my mysterious boy. He was the only one who care to show up in my utopia. Anyone else could've came in, but only he did. Or is it that I only let him in? It's not the simple landscape that confuses me-it's the boy and the way he makes me think. He challenges my mind, makes me think and broaden my horizons. Just the simple motion of his smile makes me wonder more, so it's no surprise that the things that come out of his mouth pose more inquisitions.  
Only one question do I answer without any thought. "After all, how much is a life really worth?"

"It's worth you."

A/N: Dun dun dun! What will ensue? Reviews are loved! 


	4. A Breif Male Interlude

A/N: Yeah, I know, I'm slow. But it's finally getting updated, okay?  
Disclaimer: I own N2N less than Gabe is alive.

"You mean that?" I ask, smiling in anticipation. Natalie nods at me, smiling back. I run up to her and engulf her in a large hug. "You mean the world to me, and I will never forget anything that you have ever done for me. I am indebted to you forever and ever, make no doubt about that." You may not live long enough for me to repay you, but it will happen somehow, I thought.

Natalie clung on to me for dear life, hugging me close and breathing in. I pull her gently away and grasp her shoulders firmly. "Are you sure that you're okay with this? You might be in some pain. I don't want you to hurt because of me." Yes, I wanted exactly that. I wanted her to feel the hurt so that I could move on without the hurt. It was too much a burden on me. Can't she share the pain with me? The curly haired girl in my arms looked me in the eyes and nodded firmly. "I...I don't know who you are, but I will bear the pain because it seems like the right thing to do."

She is a good person, really she is. I ask so much of her and she asks nothing in return, taking my burden as if it were her own to bear. I guess, in a way, it was her burden, but in a different way than mine was to me. For her, it was a choice, a decision. For me, it was like baggage in a relationship or a criminal record. It followed me everywhere, forcing itself upon me, making its wretched presence known. Natalie didn't know who I was, much less what I meant to her, yet she still took my problems away from me. "Why?"

"Why what?" she asked confused. "Why are you so accepting of this? There will be pain, it won't be pleasant, it's a terrible thing to have to suffer through. It will last for 3 months less then a year. I've warned you of all of this, yet you take upon you what I've so desperately wanted to rid myself of. Why? You don't have to, there's nothing to gain except pain, loss, and suffering, and it's all for me because I've selfishly asked. Why?"

"I don't think you deserve it. I've done so much to ruin myself physically and mentally. You seem perfect-what could you have done to end up here in pain? I deserve the pain," Natalie said, her eyes brimming with tears. "You deserve your chance to be good. When will the pain start? I'm ready."

I pulled myself out of Natalie's mind and became quasi-human as I saw her physical being vomiting into a plastic bucket beside her hospital bed. The pain was starting, the pain which would ultimately lead to her own, personal demise. Here I was, causing this girl so much pain all for a chance to be alive. So much pain all for me.

I leant over and whispered into the ear that was attached to the girl who offered herself up for me, the nameless boy. "After all, how much is a life really worth? Is it worth the pain, Natalie?" She looked around, trying to see the bodiless voice, but to no avail. "You asked for the pain. Always remember, you took this upon yourself."

A/N: TA DAAA!  
Reviews? 


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